The Last Dragonlord
by KittyRin
Summary: What if Arthur had overheard that Balinor was Merlin's father? Now, he is there to comfort his friend over the loss, and, is decided to accept Merlin for who he is. That is, until he looses his memory. Set during S2E13. NO SLASH, just major friendship. !Reveal fic!
1. Chapter 1

_Arthur: All __right__, I know I'm a __prince__… __so we can't be friends__. But __if I wasn't a prince-"_

_Merlin__: What? _

_Arthur: Well, then… I think __we__'d probably get on._

A/N: This is 'what if' type of story where Arthur learns that Balinor is Merlin's father. My take on the finale of serie 2 (The Last Dragonlord). Obviously there are spoilers from this episode. ^^ Hope you enjoy it! This contains major friendship/bromance moments. Thanks to **CharlieCats** for BETA reading this!

I really love Merlin and Arthur's friendship. I think they've got one strong bond. And I know a lot of you ship Merthur... but the thing is, I think friendship is more pure and wonderful than romance. And that's why I honestly love their friendship, and I think romance would just break it... I mean, that's just my opinion though.

**I do not own Merlin in any way, it all belongs to BBC.**

* * *

The ravaging of the dragon in Camelot had forced them to travel to find the last Dragonlord, Balinor. Riding through the cold weather, the rain, and the night had led them into Cenred's kingdom. Cenred's kingdom was full of bandits, foulness and evil. Merlin had been acting strangely, as he had barely opened his mouth and had nearly eaten nothing. Arthur had been concerned, but he had told himself that it was simply a bit of home-sickness.

But at last, Arthur and Merlin's quest to find the last Dragonlord had been successful. Although Arthur had suffered from a what-seemed-to-be mortal wound, he had managed to survive. It was still a mystery how he had woken up from his injury, but right now, it was the least of his worries.

He had stepped out of the dim cave, unaware that the man who was speaking with Merlin was in fact the man who had cured him and, ultimately, Balinor.

Arthur had felt like he could lift a horse, because he was so full of energy and feeling so well rested. Merlin had told him they had found Balinor but that, unfortunately, he would not go back to Camelot.

"What kind of a man is he?" Arthur had asked with indignation._**  
**_

"I don't know… I thought he would be something more." Merlin had whispered back, which had brought a confused feeling to Arthur. Even after many attempts to persuade him, Balinor had resisted.

"Gaius spoke of the_ nobility_ of Dragonlords, clearly he was wrong."

And at last, here they are, looking back on Balinor's cave.

Arthur wonders what has gotten into Merlin. Ever since they have left the cave, he has stayed quiet. Arthur tries to tease him by calling him his usual nicknames, and pocking him with a stick. But nothing works. He even tries to compliment Merlin and tells him that he may not be a fool after all, but Merlin replies nonchalantly. "Yeah, I feel the same. Now that I realize you're not as arrogant as you sound."

He really wonders what has gotten into him. Even his insults have lost their patronizing sound, and that's saying something. He wants to be able to read Merlin's mind, to know what is wrong, but he knows how impossible this is.

So, he plays along to Merlin's very bad teasing. "You still think I'm arrogant?"

"Oh. No. More, like…" he seems to think a long time as he gathers the wood to make fire. "Supercilious."

Arthur laughs inwardly, because it is simply too fun to notice how Merlin is trying to sound eloquent and pompous, when he probably doesn't even know the meaning of the word.

So he says. "That's a big word _Merlin_! You sure you know what it means?" He grins deviously.

"Condescending."

"Very good."

"Patronizing."

"It doesn't quite mean that." Arthur objects, suddenly glad that they are talking again. The atmosphere still feels awfully tense, but there is a definite improvement.

Merlin just says that these are other words to describe Arthur. He goes on to list some more, but Arthur is no longer listening. He hears the twitching of wood, and he gets up, his sword in his hand, ready to pounce at whoever is making that noise. That _idiot_, Merlin, continues and lists some insults, and were he not so stupid, Arthur would have probably slammed his head on a tree trunk. Arthur hisses under his breath for Merlin to _shut up_.

But then, Merlin realizes that Arthur was right as he hears another twitch from afar, and follows discreetly behind, like a cat.

Arthur and Merlin are about to hurl themselves in one direction when, suddenly, Balinor steps out of the shadows from the other side.

"Careful boys. These are dangerous woods. I thought you might need some help." He explains, his eyes fixed on Merlin.

Arthur is suspicious, because he doesn't understand what this is supposed to mean. He stares at Balinor for some time until he demands to know if Balinor will accompany them back to Camelot. Balinor's eyes flicker to Arthur's face for one second, and looks irritated. He nods, telling Merlin he was right. His eyes do not leave Merlin's figure.

_Whatever that's supposed to mean_, thinks Arthur, aggravated from being so rudely ignored.

But Arthur, knowing the heart of men, promises that Balinor's actions will not go unrewarded. Balinor does not look impressed at all, and he simply shrugs in disdain, saying that he seeks no reward, or something very noble along these lines.

_How noble of him_, thinks Arthur with some kind of frustration in his heart. He nods, and turns around, as he proposes to eat something.

He feels a certain awkwardness of being here, and suddenly really desires to just leave Merlin and Balinor on their own. He does not really know what caused this.

So, as they go off to gather some wood, he decides to take another path, close enough so he can maybe understand what is going on between the two. It takes some effort for him to be close enough and stay undetected, so he misses parts of the conversation. He finally hears something:

"Hunith?" Balinor asks, his voice full of surprise.

Arthur frowns, trying to remember where he has heard that name before.

"She's still alive?"

"She's my mother." Merlin explains. Arthur nods, remembering that Merlin had mentioned her name before.

Balinor mumbles something with a sad tone to it, and Arthur grimaces, trying to get closer.

"She never married," Merlin simply says, and there is a long pause, in which Arthur can only imagine what is going on, "_I'm your son_."

_Oh_.

Arthur suddenly wants to run away, because he feels like he's interrupted a sacred moment that should not have been eavesdropped upon. This clears up Merlin's strange attitude during the past days.

He barely hears both of them whispering something, but he does not care to listen anymore. Arthur gets up from his position and walks away, a bit exasperated when he steps on wood, creating noise. Merlin sees him and says something quick to Balinor.

Arthur walks away, few logs of wood in his hands. He wonders why Merlin chose to tell him nothing at all. He feels slightly cheated, but he knows that Merlin probably has his reasons.

He does not say a thing to Merlin or Balinor, and at night he cannot fall asleep. He hears them talking about their lives, about why Balinor could not come back, about how Uther made it impossible for him to be with his family, about Merlin's mother, and about what could have been. Arthur's heart feels tense. And then, he hears something that makes him realize how amazing Merlin can become:

"For thousand of year, it has gone down from father… to _son_," Balinor explains. "Like all Dragonlords, you won't know you have that power until you face your first dragon."

_Merlin_, facing a dragon?

How impossible this sounds. But Arthur knows, truly, that Merlin will become something grand, and he can save Camelot if he really wants to. It is a burden for Arthur to know because, now, he wished he did not know any of this. To have lived in the ignorance. But there is no going back.

Arthur does not listen, and lets sleep finally come. It is, however, only after hours of restless thinking that he finally falls asleep with the image of Merlin, his manservant, as a Dragonlord.

**X**

The next day dawns on Arthur with fear. He wakes up with the sound of marching and metal in his ears. He swiftly gets up, his senses looking for an enemy. Balinor has gone, leaving only a little wooden statue of a dragon in front of Merlin. Arthur smiles for only a second at this gift, and finally catches the sight of Balinor, who is sitting few meters away. He sighs. However, the marching noise keeps him on his guard. He can only guess that this is Cenred's men. He wakes up Merlin, telling him all that he knows. Merlin looks around, panicked.

And then, all of a sudden, from behind comes a half a dozen of men, all armed. Arthur's eyes widened and he pushes Merlin back.

They all begin to fight, and all Arthur can really see and hear is the clashing of swords. After few minutes of combat, he suddenly hears Balinor shouting. From the corner of his eyes, Arthur sees Balinor coming in front of his son in a protective way, and he takes the full blow of one of the men's sword. Arthur is distracted by another couple of men whom he slaughters violently. When he can finally look back, the assassin is on the floor and Merlin is holding onto Balinor with his dear life. Balinor can barely say few words until he breathes out one last time.

Everything happens so fast: he sees Merlin, bent over the body of Balinor. The corpse that will no longer move. Merlin is shaking, his shoulder shrugging at every second while he sobs under his breath. The sob echoes through the thick air of the damp forest, and it is almost an imaginary scene. As if they are in a nightmare that they are not waking up from.

"No!" Arthur hurls out, violently slamming his sword into the cannot imagine the feelings Merlin has to be enduring right now.

Merlin's sobs stop as he rises from the cadaver of his father. Using his hands, he clears away all the tears from his face because it is not normal to cry over the death of a man he's just met. But Arthur knows better. He knows that the man is no ordinary man. He is the parent of Merlin, a bond that can never be broken.

Merlin turns around, his face looking sorry and desolated. Arthur wants to tell him to cease that fake expression; that there was no need to hide anything from him. Arthur looks somberly at Merlin, his eyes meeting the tormented ones.

"Camelot is doomed." He says. And he doesn't just mean Camelot or Uther. He means the people, he means the hope is completely gone.

He slowly approaches Merlin, his face now fixed on Balinor's face that appears to be sleeping, almost looking like he is in a deep phase of dreaming. However, Balinor is never waking up from this dream.

Arthur is not one to give comforting pats as he usually disregards physical contact with people because, to him, they are simply a sign of weakness. However, he cannot think of anything that he can do for Merlin, so he reaches out, and pats Merlin's shoulders.

He wants to tell him that he is there for him. He wants to tell him that there is no need to hide anything; that he is there for him. But a part of him knows how impossible this is. Because there would be consequences. Because Dragonlords transmit their powers from son to son. Which means that ultimately, Merlin has the same powers as Balinor. And to admit this would mean that Arthur would be defying Uther, who would surely never let this matter go unnoticed.

_This is to protect Merlin._

He closes his eyes, feeling like a coward.

"Arthur... I'm sorry I failed to protect my-... Balinor." Merlin says dully, his voice sounding awfully off. "I should have been more careful."

"No, Merlin. It is I," Arthur begins, unaware how to says this. "It is I who should apologize for what you're going through. It is never easy to... see someone die. And I can see he meant a great deal to you." There. This could be just enough to make Merlin understand that Arthur is here for him.

Merlin holds a puzzled look while Arthur drops his comforting pat. The eyes full of sorrow meet Arthurs' for just one second, until Merlin looks down as if he were avoiding Arthur. "I do not see what you're talking about."

"Merlin, there is no need to explain anything; you two bonded immediately. Even I noticed it," Arthur presses. "All I want you to know is that you are not alone..." This is against Arthur's principal to never act icky and touchy around somebody, but he does not care.

Merlin nods, murmuring a thank you. There is an awkward moment when Merlin looks away and falls to his knees. He lay on the wet floor, his hand covering his face as he lets out silent tears.

Arthur, who does not want to disturb Merlin any further, looks around to see if he can see any enemy. Since he cannot, he decides to do an act to properly thank Balinor. He didn't know the man well, but he was Merlin's father, he deserved a proper funeral.

He walks over to Balinor's body, as he lifts him up. Merlin looks at Arthur in a confused manner. "Stay here, I'll be back." He promises.

With Balinor in his arms, he begins to walk, trying desperately to find a shelter of some kind. After few minutes of silence, he finally finds a little forest clearing, where everything looks peaceful and serene.

He slowly puts Balinor's cadaver on the center. Then, he grabs his leather water container, and with a piece of cloth that he tears from his tunic, he begins to clean Balinor's face. He brushes through the supposedly last Dragonlord's greasy hair, using his hand and a bit of water. He folds Balinor's arms, and properly closes the dead man's eyes.

Finally, he gathers wood and puts it all beside the corpse. As he puts the last log next to Balinor, he notices Merlin emerging from the clearing. Arthur gets up, very slowly, suddenly frightened to have offended Merlin.

However, to his joy, Merlin does not approach him with an angry look. Instead, he walks over and says. "Thank you."

There is something more in Merlin's words, but Arthur doesn't quite know what it is. And this is all he needs.

"Um...well, I suppose, we should say- something?" Arthur suggests when Merlin says nothing, his face blank.

"Oh. Right." Merlin gulps, looking perplexed and scared.

"Or not. Words are not always necessary," Arthur suggests. "But I will say thank you to him. For saving my life. And for being there..." He lets his voice trail off in the distance.

Merlin barely nods. "_Thank you_..."

And there is more than just words in Merlin's tone. It is a caring, loving tone. A tone that Arthur is not yet ready to forget.

Merlin takes the set of stones required to start a fire from his pockets. Arthur wants to tell him that he can use whatever form of magic he possesses, that this would be more gratifying, but he stops himself because he does not really know what form of magic Dragonlords possess.

The dancing sparks reach the logs, and a great fire begins. The flames stir up like a red wave, and poignant pops resonate as the wood is slowly consumed by the heat. Merlin never looks away from Balinor's face, and Arthur pats him one last time on his shoulder and leaves him be. He knows all the boy needs is solitude to properly say goodbye to his father.

He now wishes he might have protected Merlin more. Time can only heal the wound Merlin suffers.

_No. No one really ever heals from losing someone they love, especially a parent._ Arthur thinks.

He glances at Merlin one last time before heading to the horses.

_Merlin, the last Dragonlord._

* * *

A/N: Well this is it... I'm thinking of maybe adding another chapter where Arthur supposedly 'slays' the dragon, when in fact it is all Merlin's doing.

Please review if you liked it! Or not. ^^

-KittyRin


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Merlin. Thank you to **CharlieCats** for BETA reading this!

* * *

Arthur does not say anything on the journey back to Camelot. He knows this will not help Merlin.

Most importantly, however, he has taken a decision to protect Merlin from being exposed. He knows that his manservant is the only one who can save his kingdom from the dragon, and he is not ready to risk Merlin's life. And yet there is also something more. He wishes to protect Merlin because he does not want to see him die like he has seen so many other die. Because, although generally hidden, he does care enough for Merlin to be sad were he to die. He's the prince's friend.

"Well, we're a day away from Camelot... are you tired? Perhaps we could stop for the night." Arthur asks as he stops his horse. From afar, you can start to see the great castle of Camelot.

Merlin shakes his head. "No, I would like to continue." He says as he presses his horse to gallop faster. Arthur swiftly follows him. Generally, he would be the one taking all the decisions. But he knows that when desperation and depression take over, sometimes, it feels so good to work hard. Besides, if by getting quickly to Camelot, Arthur can get the burden of Merlin's sadness off of his shoulders, it can only be positive. Gaius will be able to help him more than Arthur.

**X**

"I'm sorry Father, I have failed you." Arthur says in the court room, his glance on the floor. His father stirs up from his sitting position and looks disappointed. Arthur hates this feeling. He hates not living up to his father's expectation. It's the worst feeling. "_The last dragonlord is dead_."

This is it. The first lie to his father. Arthur takes a deep breath. The _last_ dragonlord is not dead at all. He is standing there, in this very room, breathing the same air as everybody else. The last dragonlord is none other than Merlin. Arthur glances back at Merlin who is staring on the floor, his complexion looking depressed.

Gaius stares intently at Merlin, his blue eyes piercing his expression. The physician, seeing how sad Merlin is, just closes his eyes, trying his best not to reach to comfort Merlin. Arthur cannot help but look at Gaius as he looks defeated. He must love Merlin so much to care like this.

The atmosphere in the room is tight and tense. Arthur remains straight, hoping his best that his father will not react too negatively.

"How many years would have I wished for that." Uther sighs. The prince stares at him, as does Gaius. Because in all his despair, Uther may be admitting that he regrets his acts. And perhaps this is all for the sake of Camelot, but Arthur is still touched. However, he knows how selfish this comment is.

He thinks of Merlin, who he can feel is staring intently at him from the back of the room. He bites his lower lip, suddenly wanting to bring hope back to the court. "All is not lost, Father," he confesses. Uther looks up at his son, perplexed. "We have to fight the monster ourselves."

Arthur wants to say that Merlin can fight him, but he keeps his better judgement. For all he knows, his manservant may choose not to take part in any of this to avenge Balinor's death. Arthur would not hate him for choosing this option, even if it did mean the doom of Camelot.

He smiles, hiding his deepest fears. "So, Father, let us ride out on open ground, on horses... there is a better manoeuvre..." He explains.

"There is no point." Uther hisses coldly to his son.

"So what?" Arthur dares. He feels this pride rising, a pride that gives him courage and strength. "We stand here, watch Camelot _fall_." A lump is stuck in his throat as he says this possibility.

"You have my blessing." Uther finally agrees, looking away.

Arthur sighs. This is it. He slowly turns around as he addresses himself to all the noble knights of the court, asking them who will follow him into battle. The chances of returning are slim. They all know it.

But, few knights such as Sir Leon, slowly step up to him, and there is this bond between the knights, stronger than anything Arthur has ever encountered. Soon enough, all the courageous knights of Camelot are there, ready to help him defeat this terrible beast. There is trust, friendship and love between all of them.

_This is it_, Arthur thinks as he watches everybody leave the room, including Merlin. He wonders what the dragonlord will choose to do. He shakes his head. This is non of his business in any case.

He stares at his father one last time. His father, who has endured so very much these past weeks. The fall of Camelot under the dragon's clutches, Morgana who has disappeared... and now this. The very likely possibility that he will lose his son.

His father's brown eyes acknowledge Arthur's blue eyes one last time, before that last one heads to his bedchambers.

**X**

It is Merlin who comes to find Arthur. The aura is tense, and there is almost an awkwardness between the two friends. Arthur watches the manservant as he helps him put his armour on.

"Well, chances are you won't need to clean this again." Arthur makes a light joke in hope of lightening the mood. Merlin frowns, concerned that Arthur is becoming suicidal.

"Don't say that. You must be careful. Don't overdo anything." Merlin objects. Arthur raises his eyebrow, convinced that the boy is mocking him now. The dragon cannot be defeated by mere swords and bravery. Only magic can do the trick. Something that the young prince obviously doesn't have.

"Yes sire." He laughs.

"I'm serious!" Meuuuuuuuuuurlin says, aggravated.

"I can hear that!" Arthur teases him. He sighs. "Merlin if I die... please-" Arthur hesitates, smiling at the idea this brings him. How strange. He is smiling of the possibility of embracing death.

"What?" Merlin asks, confusion dawning in his blue eyes.

"The dragonlord... _I saw you_." Arthur lets out, unconsciously. He wants to smack himself. Merlin looks up at him, aware of his every word and on his guard. Arthur rolls his eyes. This is really not the moment to announce that he knows about his magic. No, really not. So, he finds something else to say. "One thing I tell my young knights," he says as he puts an arm on Merlin's shoulder. "No man is worth the tears."

There. Some wise piece of advice. And not even coherent advice. Because every man is worth the tears. Death is not something light-headed. And especially the death of a parent. But if seeming to be a prat with some false words of advice can fool Merlin, then let this be the course of the actions.

Merlin stares at him, no apparent expression. "You're certainly not."

_Oh ha ha_, Arthur thinks. "Well, I'm glad to see you've got your sense of humour back!"

Then, all of a sudden, he hears the the clanging of metal. He turns around, surprised. He sees the shadow of his friend holding steadily a long sword, unsure how to properly hold it. Arthur wants to laugh at how insecure Merlin is with a sword, but he refrains himself. "What are you doing?" He asks.

"I'm coming with you." He finally says, a big, goofy grin appearing on his face.

"Chances are I'm going to die." Arthur replies slowly, saying each word carefully.

"Yeah," he hesitates as he nods his head, smiling mischievously. "You probably would if I wasn't there to save your royal back. Do you _know_ how _many times_ I've saved your life?"

"_Right_." Arthur snorts. Yes, probably more than he can actually imagine. But he needs the help. Desperately. And Merlin needs to discover the magic he's got inside of himself.

_I just wish he would confess to me about this. Maybe it would help_, he thinks before heading out with his armour.

He has taken a decision: he's not going to let Merlin fight if he can help it.

**X**

Arthur is silent during the whole, short ride towards the clearing next to Camelot, where he hopes to find the monster. He's feel stressed, overwhelmed by the idea of dying and wonders how Merlin is feeling. Does he feel himself capable to face the dragon?

He stops his horse, caressing the animal. Maybe this will be his last contact with his horse, his dear friend who has stood with him in each battle. He eyes the knights. Some look frightened, others look proud and strong. This is the perfect example of diversity. All of these men have different tempers, yet they are ready to unite, ignoring any cowardliness in them.

Every men is a coward, it's only that some chose to ignore their better instinct; this is real bravery.

Arthur finds this last statement amusing because it would mean that bravery is nothing more than a lack of better judgement. He takes a deep breath.

"Men, I would like to thank you all for coming here," he says, smiling at every single one of them. "It is an honour to fight alongside with you, as your equal."

Every man shakes their head and pulls out their sword. He sees Merlin's frightened face in the back, his horse nervous. Arthur bows his head one last time, pulling out his sword as well. "For Camelot!" He shouts with all his lungs.

"For Camelot!"

"For Camelot"

"For Camelot!"

"_For Camelot_!" They all say in unison.

Arthur is proud of them as they begin to gallop into the clearing. Immediately, the beast welcomes them with a roar, as if it were meeting an old friend. Arthur gulps and holds the horse steady, because he knows this may be enough to cause fear into the animal.

The dragon's stare looks at every single one of them, scrutinizing every single one of their hearts as they put their horses in a circle, a strategy Arthur has often used to disperse his knights properly. The yellow eyes looks at Arthur, as if daring him to act first. Arthur glares at the beast, waving his sword menacingly.

The dragon launches forward, and its clutches fall on Sir Leon. The horse neighs loudly, piercing the trees. The animal is hurt and immediately gallops away as Sir Leon fights to his best abilities the beast. The other knights come to his rescue, hurling their weapons at the beast, but nothing seems to hurt it.

Arthur stirs his horse near the back of the beast and jumps swiftly off his horse, an action he isn't yet certain if he will regret. Gripping the dragon's scales, he tries to tare the flesh of the dragon. The beast's body, however, is as strong as a shield. The beast shakes his head ferociously as it feels the burden on its back. It cries out menacingly and throws Arthur off of its back. Arthur falls to the ground, groaning and wincing at the poignant pain that this fall causes him.

He hears Merlin call his name few times, but he knows that the impact he has just felt does not allow him to move anymore. He is blocked. His eyes are slowly shutting, but he does his best to keep them open. The rest seems so fuzzy. He sees his men being torn apart, bitten and thrown in every direction.

Merlin's hands are at once on Arthur, trying to shake him. "Arthur!"

"Ugh," the man moans, getting up slowly. He winces at all the pain he feels, and stares at the beast who is growling, but doesn't seem to want to attack anymore. He sees that all his men are now either gravely wounded or dead. He feels his heart break at the loss of his men. But now is not the time to grieve for them. Not yet. Now is a time to stand up and fight.

Merlin's eyes are on Arthur, and it seems like he is about to say something. Arthur knows what Merlin wants to tell him. But he knows Merlin does not know how to use his powers, and it is Arthur's duty, as Prince of Camelot, to protect all his subjects, and friends. "Move out of my way."

He reluctantly pushes Merlin out of his path and walks calmly over to the dragon, ready to face the prey. He is just meters away from the monster when he stops. He looks in its eyes for few seconds, wondering what would cause so much hatred in such an imposing but noble creature.

_It is made of magic,_ he thinks_, that is why._

He glances back at Merlin.

_But not all magic is evil,_ he adds to his thoughts.

The beast seems to have heard his thoughts, as it begins to look at him more tenderly. Arthur snorts inwardly. He will not fall in this kind of trap. He takes his sword from the ground where it had fallen, and runs forward to strike the dragon. This may the last thing he does.

And then, the monster has attacked him, but not mortally. He is blown in the other direction as his head smashes violently against a tree trunk, and nearly faints. However, although he cannot move anymore, he still barely sees the scene. At first, he wonders why the monster did not kill him when it had the opportunity to. Arthur could have died. _He should have died_. The dragon only needed to tare off his head. But it didn't... why?

But then, he notices Merlin walking forward to Arthur, his face furious and sad, snapping Arthur out of his train of thoughts. "Why are you doing this?" Merlin yells, tears rushing out of his eyes.

Arthur does not remember the last time Merlin was this angry.

Then, the dragon _chuckles_. Arthur wonders what is wrong with this dragon, but he cannot resist the urge to close his eyes anymore. The pain, the deaths, the castle, Gwen, Uther and Merlin all flash before his eyes as he faints. All he remembers is the dragon replying to something Merlin says as if they knew each other...

_God, his head hurts._

**X**

"Arthur, Arthur!" A pair of arms shake him out of his unconscious state of mind. He grunts. "_Arthur we did it!_"

He groans, his blue eyes finally opening. Merlin is there, bent over next to him, a huge grin on his face. Arthur wonders what exactly it is about him, but there is something different. Something about his eyes.

"What?" He gets up, sitting down. He groans at the pain.

"I mean to say you've done it! You defeated the dragon!"

What is wrong with Merlin? Arthur did no such thing. "What?"

Merlin frowns. "Are you deaf Arthur? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" He shouts in the prince's ear who slams him down as soon as he does.

"Ow, ow! YES. Merlin, you _idiot_, of course I can hear you! What I mean is what do you mean I won? I fainted and-" Oh. Isn't there something he is supposed to remember about this? Something to do with Merlin... He can't put his finger on what it is!

Merlin looks alarmed. "You fought the dragon, remember?"

"No." He doesn't remember. He remembers faintly going after some kind of dragonlord or whatever nonsense it was, but he does not remember much after. He remembers his knights all stepping up next to him. He frowns, annoyed at his lack of response.

"Um, it's alright, you just hit your head and-"

"No, no! I know what I did and I fought no such beast." Arthur interrupts him, getting up. He is shocked by what he sees. All his knights are on the floor, wounded. Some might even be dead.

"It's okay Arthur. We'll find Gaius and he'll come to help them. We have to get you back to the castle." Merlin gently says as he grabs Arthur by the arm who has now nearly fallen back at the floor because he is so exhausted.

"There is something..." Arthur says. "Something I'm supposed to remember. I don't know what it is!" He yells, frustrated.

"It'll come back." Merlin promises, unsure on what grounds Arthur is basing his thoughts on.

"Yeah... did you say I fought the beast who did this?" He demands.

"Yes." Merlin says quietly, as if he were hiding something.

"Well then, I _really_ did not need any of your help!" He laughs as he remembers Merlin's speech previously. The manservant laughs nervously.

"Well, I'm glad you're back to being a prat."

Arthur just rolls his eyes at this as they begin to walk near the castle.

He would eventually remember whatever it was that was so important... _right_?

* * *

This is really the first story where I have absolutely no idea where this is heading... I could leave it here. Or continue into some kind of AU, where Arthur would struggle to remember... I'll actually leave it up to you. If you want a continuation, I'll do it. If you don't, I'll leave it like this. I've got a vague idea on how the story would go if I would continue this... but heh, this is not the usual plan I'm used to working with.

Anyways, please review if you loved or hated it. I love critiques. And praises just raise my mood. Thanks to everybody who reviewed last time! You guys rule.

-KittyRin


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Merlin; BBC does. Thanks to **flyaway213** for BETA-reading this!

* * *

_He is wrong about everything he had told himself; all the things he promised himself. _

Imagine a world where you cannot remember the face of the person who raised you. Imagine a world where you cannot remember the times you had with the person dearest in your heart. Imagine a world where you cannot even remember that your friend, and sibling, has gone missing.

This is exactly what Arthur is going through at this moment. It is agony, like being blindfolded and walking right into a trap. Except, you know it's a trap. You can smell, feel the trap from miles, but you willingly step into the beast's mouth.

The worst thing about his situation is that there appears to be no solution. He has remembered nearly nothing; and all the things he has remembered have been trivial and most unimportant: the name of his first pony, or the name of a maid he saw as a child. A week has come and gone, and he is now exhausted. Devastated. Lost. His sleep is restless, his mind is never focused and he does not feel at home. He feels like a stranger. He does not now what this feeling is, but he has not been able to get over the fact that he has defeated a dragon, all by himself. Which, normally, is not humanly possible. Arthur is self-conscious of his abilities, and he is certain that this is not one of them. How did he defeat this beast, all by himself?

Well, he was not alone, technically. He was with _Merlin_. But Merlin can barely hold his sword steady... how could _he_ have helped? And yet, Arthur is certain of it. Merlin helped, somehow. He cannot point his finger onto what it is exactly, but he knows. Something is there. It is beyond frustration to feel like this.

"Arthur, Sire, your father is searching for you," a servant tells him, making him snap out of his thoughts. Arthur looks up at the unknown servant, frowning. "He has asked for your advice about something."

"_Who are you_?" he asks suspiciously, his mind wandering into some kind of numb zone. He massages his temples and leans back into the wooden chair he had been sitting in for the last thirty minutes. He feels terrible, he quickly realizes-almost sick.

"I am John, Sire. One of the messengers...?" John lets his voice trail off into the distance, a bit preoccupied. Arthur sighs heavily. Another face he has not recognized today. John nods knowledgeably. Everybody knows of Arthur's condition, although most hide it. They do not wish to bring the Prince's mood more down than it already is. Arthur tells him that he will come right away, and flickers him off with his hand, a bit annoyed.

He does mean to come as rude to anybody, but he cannot stay so patient. Uther probably wants to see his son to take a look at the condition. Another pair of judgmental eyes. He knows his father only means well, but he wishes more than ever to be a bit alone. Actually, he wishes to leave this castle. In a whole week, he has not been allowed out much, except on rare occasions to see his knights or Guinevere (which have been rather rare). Why does his father insist on treating him like some sort of child?

_I'm not an utter hopeless fool_, he thinks. _A__fter all__,__ I remember __some things__! It's just the details that are fuzzy._

He is irritated at the people around him and he hates this feeling. It's so confusing.

**X**

As for Merlin, he has been having a horrible week. His work is constantly undetermined by Arthur who seems to almost treat him as if he doesn't exist-he doesn't tease him, he doesn't say much. His mind always seems to wander off. This changes very much from his previous sentiments he had shown, the night Balinor had died. Merlin does not know whether he prefers the show of affection or…this. Sure, Arthur is back to being his usual, cocky self, but something is off. He wonders if possibly this has to do with the dragon.

Then, Merlin has not completely accepted Balinor's death. Every night, as he lay awake, he cannot help but think of the memories that could have been; the reunion between his mother and father. This always seems to leave him heart broken, and his brain insists on recording every detail of Balinor's murder. To find away he could have saved him. He knows how silly this all sound. Now, what's the use in thinking this? It's too late anyways.

But he has to focus on Arthur. He will mourn and judge his feelings later.

Merlin heads over to Arthur's chambers, only to find them empty. Again. He sighs. He's probably down with Uther. Ever since the traumatic bump on Arthur's head, Uther has been acting protective. In fact,he has been _over_-protective. Merlin finds this rather amusing; it is not like the affection is going to change anything. He knows Arthur's father is only trying to help, but still. Humans only seem to regret a thing after they realize they've lost it.

Then again, is _he_ any better? He, too, has been trying desperately to help though it does not seem to be working. He has searched in a dozen of magic books to find a spell to cure this amnesia, but nothing seems to work. He even considered _smacking_ Arthur on the head, but found that this would be of a most displeasing nature. For one, Arthur had already tried hitting himself and nothing had changed (except for a good wave of laughter from Merlin). For another, Uther would have Merlin's head for it.

He heads over to the court room, where he finds Arthur. He stands there, waiting for Arthur to realize his presence. The Prince never does.

Arthur just sits there, next to his father, replying to the small talk which seems to be boring him. He does not look up to his trail of food once, and seems to brood silently. Merlin notices Arthur's legs from the table moving really quickly, shaking violently and impatiently. Arthur can be such a child sometimes. Merlin knows how much the lack of fresh air and exercise has been driving the Prince mad.

Arthur doesn't bother looking up as he hears footsteps. It is, surprisingly, Uther who first notices Merlin standing there '_like an idiot__',_ as Arthur would say. Merlin doesn't want to say it, but he actually misses the usual reprimanding talk Arthur always gave him.

"You, there!" Uther snaps firmly, his eyes locked on Merlin. "You're Arthur's manservant, correct?"

After all this time, you'd expect Uther to finally recognize this fact. Merlin snorts inwardly, but courteously bows down. "Yes, my lord."

"Very well. I want you to take him horseback riding and some hunting... Don't forget to warn Sir Leon and some of the other knights to join you," he explains. Merlin bows once again as he slightly frowns. Why is Uther treating Arthur as if he is some kind of mental patient? Arthur has lost none of his wits; simply memories, which may have caused a bit of depression from his side. But he has not gone completely mad. Merlin isn't the only one to notice Uther's control over Arthur.

"Father, there is no need to treat me like I'm a child. I can take care of myself. I don't want the other knights to come hunting with me, they're off to their morning duties anyways. Besides, we need some of our men to find Morgana, right? _Because you told me three days ago that she's been missing for weeks," _Arthur's voice is bitter, and vexed that he would not remember such important news by himself. "I'll go by myself just to exercise, and I'll be back by noon. Also, I need to train some of the squires," Arthur affirms.

Uther's face seems surprised at Arthur's sudden words. In Uther's eyes radiates a sort of surprise or profoundness you could find in a father who had just heard his baby say his first words. However, after few seconds, Uther's expression becomes worried.

"The other knights can take care of those duties, Arthur. I really feel like you should be resting-" Uther begins, but gets rudely cut off by Arthur. By now, Merlin can see his knuckles tightening angrily together.

"I've been doing nothing but rest for the past week! And to be honest, it's getting exhausting to stay in here, locked up as if I were some kind of prisoner!" Arthur nearly yells, but sighs, feeling ashamed to have lost his temper. "I'm really sorry Father...I just mean to say-"

"It's alright Arthur. I will allow you to go horseback riding, but ignore the rest of your duties for now," Uther says as he gets up, putting a hand on his son's shoulder. "Just make sure your manservant comes with you. I don't want you wandering off by yourself," he glances at Merlin with a grimace. Uther walks away swiftly, casting a stare at Merlin. Merlin knows what this is supposed to mean: 'you better look after him you half-witted moron.'

"You know, Merlin," Arthur says bitterly as he, too, stands up. "I don't understand what my father sees. If trouble does comes, I don't think you would be of much help in any way," he laughs a bit, and Merlin just nods, giving up any hope that Arthur will be kind today. However, he is happy to be getting some kind of speaking out of him. "Saddle up the horses, I'll be there in thirty minutes."

"Yes Sire..." Merlin says, rolling his eyes at him. Arthur just glares at him, basically yelling 'Stop being such a child, Merlin!' or something along those lines.

Merlin heads to the stables, where he finds a couple of very dynamic and excited horses who have not been out very much this week.

**X**

The fresh air seems to be doing some good to Arthur. For one thing, he seems much less moody. For another, he seems to be remembering very bizarre details.

"Oh right, and the cook's name is Philip, is it not?" Arthur asks, a small smile on his face. Merlin frowns deeply. It seems the more Arthur begins to remember, the more he goes back to his old self. It's as if...his amnesia has taken away some of the personality from Arthur, and the more he remembers, the more he becomes…Arthur again.

"Um, yes...? Why are you remembering this?" Merlin asks as their horses double their pace. Arthur does not answer for a while because he is too busy directing his horse into a controlled gallop. Finally, as they reach the river, Arthur slows his mount gradually.

"It's because I just remembered the time he took me here-he was supposed to teach me the different herbs to heal poisons…," he lets his voice trail off. As the horse comes to a stop to reach for some water in order to drink, Merlin notices Arthur is heavily panting.

"Guess the exercise was not something you were used to anymore, huh?" Merlin jokes, and is glad to see that Arthur is responding the way he used to. Arthur shoots him an annoyed glance as he gets off his horse. Then, he suddenly smirks, an idea dawning on him.

"Shut up, _Merlin_." He says, as he grabs something from his pocket. Merlin's eyebrows rise, wondering what the little object is. He notices it glints in the sun. Arthur swiftly picks the object on Merlin's horse's rear end, and almost immediately, the horse begins to neigh uncontrollably. Arthur cautiously steps away, holding firmly his horse's reins.

Merlin panics. He's never been properly good at horseback riding, and he was always glad he had gotten such a calm horse. But now that he is in one of those moments he had been dreading would come, he doesn't know what to do.

"_Steady, steady_..." Merlin gulps, trying to hold the horse calmly as it begins to gallop around the clearing nervously. The horse does not take these words very nicely, and it begins to hurl itself up into the air, neighing loudly. Merlin nearly shrieks and falls off his horse, landing on rocks and mud. He spits out the dirt from his mouth, and watches as his horse runs away from him, and stops a few dozen of meters away, beginning to eat the grass.

Arthur's laugh echoes, and Merlin cannot help but give him a heavy stare for his actions. His horse appears to be very nervous as well, but Arthur's strong hold does not allow the horse to do like his friend. The horse's eyes are upon the other horse's direction.

"How was that even remotely funny?" Merlin demands, scraping the dirt off his clothes as he notices the little, pointy object Arthur holds into his hand. "Wait, is that a _needle_ you pricked my horse with? You know how much I'm scared of nervous horses!"

"Or do I know?" Arthur objects, seizing his laugh. Merlin shakes his head at the absurdity of his melodrama. Merlin is about to say something when Arthur lets out a roar of laughter. _How hilarious.__…_

"Funny joke. But really, Arthur there is no need to be this dramatic. I can assure you that you will get your memory back," he promises. Arthur chuckles fora few minutes, and then takes a deep breath. He kicks some rocks with his foot, and ties the horse to a tree. He is silent for some time, but Merlin is convinced that he's searching for his words. So he waits, patiently, his glance looking at his own horse, who appears to be mocking him from the other side of the clearing.

"That's the thing," Arthur begins, his voice shaking, which makes Merlin stare back at him. "That's the thing I don't know... how _can_ you be so sure? What if I never remember some things? I _can't_ seem to remember Sir Thomas, a noble knight that has served my Father for a long time, and apparently a dear friend of mine. I cannot recall the last time I talked to Susan, who was apparently my nanny when I was younger…she's an old lady who's very fond of me and all I can say is I don't remember any of these tales she told me years ago. And _Gwen_-" His voice cuts off, muffled with emotion. Merlin feels sorry for him. And he feels guilty. "I cannot recall some of the moments I spent with _Guinevere_, who is the person dearest to my heart! Yesterday, I saw her, and demanded that she tell me all the events we've shared…did you know, Merlin, that I do not remember half of them? I can't remember, I can't remember anything!"

He seems desperate as he stares at his hand. "I've become this thing! What am I? Who am I? Why am I here? I-," he sighs. "I'm terrified. Because I might never remember anything. And if that happens…_I can never be king_," he murmurs, aggravated.

Merlin laughs nervously. This is all his fault. Had he been more careful, Kilgharrah would never have hurt Arthur in such a way! "I don't think you mean that."

"Of course I do Merlin! How do I recognize foe and ally if I don't recall any of them?"he hisses. Merlin looks down, and Arthur just leans against a tree, his hand crossed over his chest.

"It's going to be alright. I promise," Merlin does mean it. "Besides, your memories have been slowly coming back to you, so I'm sure that-," he begins, until something dawns on him. "_Oh, oh_!"

"What is it?" Arthur asks, concerned. Merlin shakes his head, face palming himself for having been such an _idiot_! The answer has been here, just in front of them.

It is logical after all. If he remembered the cook's name because he remembered a memory he shared with him, then naturally it is in the same pattern that Merlin has to go through to make Arthur remember! And since the last thing Arthur remembers before being smacked in the head is the dragon then…he has to see Kilgharrah. Meet him. Then, this will have a reversed affect and all his memories will come back. Because it is this very event that has blocked all the others.

_Arthur will have to see the dragon, Kilgharrah, the very __being__ who made him loose his memory._

And he very well realizes what the consequences would be: his own death. It would be like signing his death penalty. He glances at Arthur's shadow. His destiny. The other side of a coin.

And then, a questions rises in his head. How will he ever find Kilgharrah? He could try using his 'dragon magic', but how he can he support seeing Kilgharrah again? After all the murders he's committed, just for the sake of revenge. How can he forgive him?

Not only that, it's too risky making the dragon come so close…they'll have to travel at least a few dozen miles away from here; and it will mean Arthur knowing. How will the Prince forgive the dragon for this? How will he act in front of him?

And, most importantly, how will he _ever_ forgive Merlin? But he has to make it up to him. He cannot leave Arthur in such a situation. He takes a deep breath, diving right into his soon-to-be-death.

"The hell Merlin! I demand to know what you mean by 'oh'!" Arthur yells, making Merlin snap out of his thoughts. He is hesitant, and he realizes that Arthur has been calling his name for the past few minutes.

"So-sorry. I was- well, um-" Merlin mumbles. "_I think I have found the solution_." Now, he cannot go back. There is almost a sad hesitance as he knows what he is about to say next will probably forever change the phase of his destiny.

Arthur's eyes seem to radiate at the sound of this, and he just awaits for Merlin to continue. He cannot wait for the solution that will bring Merlin's downfall.

"Alright, you're probably going to think of this as crazy but…I believe that if you re-go through some of your last memories, you'll remember. _Everything_. Because it's what made you forget in the first place."

"Like I remembered cook Philip…." Arthur lets his voice trail. "Actually, _Merlin_, that's not a totally stupid idea."

Does he dare? But, there's no use in really telling him right away. He might as well spend the journey with Arthur in peace.

"I think Balinor's death place is probably the first place we should visit," Merlin finally says, feeling his stomach twist in agony at his lie. Arthur blinks.

"That's in Cenred's kingdom. There is no way that my father will allow me to go," Arthur says. Merlin bites his lower lip, and the prince only sighs. "But then, when have you ever cared of my father's opinion of me? And I'm apparently in the age where I can rebel so," he stays silent, stopping. Arthur grabs the horse's reins instantly and nods in Merlin's direction, "Come on, let's go catch your horse. We have a memory to get back."

Arthur is already on his horse, galloping towards his manservant's horse. Merlin can just look at him, knowing that this is going to be one of the last times when he will see Arthur talking to him as a friend…He closes his eyes, as to trap this memory forever. He feels remorse. He feels happiness. He feels friendship.

So, he traps those emotions forever, locked away from himself as to allow him not to cause any pain to the people he holds dear to his hearts.

* * *

How do you feel about this chapter? I'm still not sure wether I like it or not. *_* I feel like it's somewhat vague and not deep into the story enough, but I cannot fully grasps why. In any case, next chapter shall go deeper in the plot. :) I'd like to thank TheImpossiblePen, SpangleyPony, xXMistressMadHatterXx, Mediatrix, SciFi2012, CaptainOzone, MamzelleHermy, Alaia Skyhawk, Merlinfanatic77, arwen and KittlyAbz for reviewing on the last chapter! It means the world to me! ^^

Anyways, next chapter shall be in two-three weeks (sorry). I have all of my tests coming up around now and I really need to do well in order to get the option I want for next year. I'll try to be as consistent and rapid as possible, but it might take a bit of time.

Until then...! :) And please **review**. -KittyRin


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to Merlinfanatic77, Boxerbee, arwen, xXMistresssMadHatterXx, KittlyAbz, SpangleyPony, bigkt for reviewing!

Many thanks to CharlieCats for BETA reading this!

I don't own Merlin; BBC does!

* * *

Merlin tries his best not to somber into eternal depression.

He needs to focus, and remain happy. At least, happy on the outside.

Arthur is humming along the road, his horse trotting lightly. The young prince remains so content with the news, that Merlin does not even want to try to hint that anything will change forever once this task is done. For one, he doesn't want to have the discussion so soon. For another, he's actually trying to find the way to call the dragon.

Is there a way?

Deep down, he feels this energy hidden, that asks to be unleashed. The power of a dragonlord.

He glances back at Arthur, who holds the expression of a child in a good dream.

"Arthur," he hears himself saying. "We should stop here for the night."

Indeed, by now, after few hours of riding, the sun is slowly setting down to let the black night emerge. The shadow of the moon in the sky is slowly appearing.

"What? Why?" Arthur gradually stops his horse and turns his head around, staring at his manservant. "Surely, you know we must hurry. My father has by now sent the guard to look for me, and I don't really have the time on my hands to let them catch me." He grunts.

Merlin smiles. "Why, if they catch you, it'll be me who will be in trouble! Don't worry!" He got off his horse. Arthur just raises his eyebrow.

"Well, I don't see how that is any better." He crosses his arms over his chest.

"Arthur, look at our horses. They're exhausted. Besides, a good night sleep will help you think straight!" Merlin assures him as he already takes the saddle off his mount. Arthur will need the rest to think properly.

Arthur sighs, and gets off, defeated.

After setting up the camp, they split up to do different chores: Merlin goes off scavenging for wood, while Arthur searches for water. Merlin walks for a good half an hour, gathering wood, until he finally believes he's alone enough to summon a dragon without bringing attention to this spot. He glances around again, making sure Arthur has not followed him. But he is far from the river, so the prince should not catch him.

He sighs, dropping the wood on the floor. He takes his time to find the energy in himself, and thinks again of how he will address the dragon that has caused so much death. He will be cold, but powerful enough to make the dragon comply to his every need.

Finally, he goes right in. A great wave of sound erupts from his mouth as he loudly yells out, "_O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes_!" He speaks in a low octave, something he did not know he could do. The air grows darker around here as he hears the pair of wings engulf the wind. There is a terrible roar in which Kilghrrah slowly descends from the black sky, its yellow eyes fixed on Merlin.

He does not say anything.

"Kilghrrah, I came here because I have no other choice. I promised you I would spare your life, and I intend to keep that promise." Merlin says, his jaw muscles contracting. Kilgharrah seems to be a little relieved by this piece of information. "However, I did not come all the way here just to say this."

Kilgharrah waits, its head turning around in curiosity.

Merlin sighs heavily. "The blow you inflicted on Arthur... it made him lose all his memory."

Kilgharrah's eyes narrow. "I know. That is what I intended."

Merlin's previous idea of not hurting the dragon vanishes at once. "What do you mean? How DARE you say something like that? Arthur is convinced he can never be king because of your wrongdoing!" Merlin threatens Kilgharrah with his sword knowing it would not inflict any pain to the beast. However, the dragon shivers at Merlin's wrath.

"Is that so?" The dragon whispers. "Wait, little man. Please have mercy on my old self."

Merlin shakes his head. "Why should I?"

"Because I can help." Kilghrrah almost chuckles. "You came here intending for me to fight Arthur, am I right?"

"Not especially to fight you. Just that he sees you and remembers you." Merlin explains. "Will that work?"

"_No_."

"What?" Merlin almost yells out, trying his best not to hurt the dragon. "What do you mean, _no_?"

"I mean to say it will not do. I will have to use my dragon magic to make him remember." Kilgharrah reluctantly says. Merlin relaxes at the mention of this, but is a bit suspicious.

"I do not understand. I have looked in all the magic books I have, and I found no spell that could undo such a case of amnesia. How do I know I can trust you?"

"Little man, you can trust me with your own life. You are a dragonlord; I cannot defy you. Besides, do not think your peaty magic of warlock can undo a dragon's doing. Dragon magic is much stronger than any other sort of magic. Had you concentrated a little more, you could have found the spell to undo the amnesia inside of you." The dragon snobbishly affirms.

"Hmph, fine then." Merlin shakes off the feeling that he has been acting as a failure for a whole week now. "I'll meet you tomorrow then, when the sun is high in the sky. You can pretend you're attacking him and summon the spell to make him remember. And then, you will begone from his sight before he has time to properly fight you." Merlin orders, trying not to panic. This is it. The words are out; and his death sentence is down the road.

The dragon does not say anything, partly because it does not like to be ordered, but also because it seems to be thinking. It finally nods gently. "Alright, young warlock. But Merlin, do not think you will go unscratched."

"I _know_ that." Merlin says bitterly. "I know Arthur will have me burned for using magic."

"Hmph, you can never know what the young prince will do. All I'm saying is that I took his memory away for a reason... I never meant for it to take away so many memories... I simply meant to take away that day's memories. But it seems now it's too late to go back." With that, the dragon flew away on its own accord.

Merlin frowns, wondering what he meant by that.

**X**

"Took you long enough." Arthur groans as Merlin finally steps out the shadows of the night, back into the camp. "I had to start a fire with the small wood I could gather and I've been freezing for half an hour. Come on, put the stacks of wood." He orders.

Merlin sighs, doing as he is told. With that, he prepares stew from herbs and a bit of rabbit Arthur caught earlier. Once it's done brewing, he serves some to Arthur who gobbles it down in no time and immediately asks for seconds. Merlin casts a glance full of teasing remarks. "_What_?" Arthur asks, his tone slightly hurt.

"I don't know if it's good for you t be eating so much-" Merlin smiles sheepishly. "Wouldn't want you to get-ow!"

He groans as he gets hit in the face with some of Arthur's belongings. "Shut up, Merlin! Quit always calling me fat. I am as fit as a King!"

"Yeah, and kings are usually fat because they sit around doing nothing-ow!" Merlin laughs this time as he gets hit again. He finally gives in, pouring some of the stew in Arthur's bowl. Merlin takes his own food and begins to eat it down. The warm food relaxes his tense muscles. Arthur eats silently, looking hesitant and thoughtful.

After a while, Arthur decides to start talking again. "Say Merlin?"

"Yes, fatty?" Merlin knows that this will just cause another blow. He's right. As soon as he utters those words, Arthur swings a fist in his jaw lightly enough not to live a bruise but hard enough to properly hurt. Both their bowls fly in the air, clattering in an opposite direction.

"Merlin, you idiot! Had you any kind of brain, you would have noticed I was trying to start a valid and constructive conversation!" He glares at him. Merlin winces at the pain but glances up, looking away from his spilled food, and seeming interested. This is the first time he's ever heard Arthur say such a strange thing.

"Okay, I'll stop. You were saying?"

"No, forget it!" Arthur groans, looking embarrassed. "I need to wash!" With that, he almost jogs away. Merlin wonders what was this all about as he catches up to Arthur.

"I'm sorry Arthur. I was just kidding around. Please don't be too mad." Merlin does not want his last night as being his friend to end in a total disaster.

Arthur sighs and glares at Merlin as he pushes him lightly on the floor. "Just shut up. I think I'll just go to sleep." And with that, Arthur grabs his blankets from the saddle and starts to lay his bed. The manservant sighs and picks up the bowls and scrapes the dirt off.

He glances at Arthur's back and almost laughs. Arthur can be such a child. But, sometimes, it's the best kind of friend. Sure, they can be such prats and get angry over anything. But they forgive easily.

Merlin glances at the stars that night, as he sits on a log. He stays there for at least half an hour, thinking slowly. He wonders what he will do after Arthur knows about his magic. Will Arthur be sad? Merlin certainly will. Because it will mean that the manservant will be missing everything he had dreamed of seeing: Arthur's coronation, Arthur getting married at last with Gwen, their first child and finally, magic being instated back into Camelot. He will miss them all.

He sighs. He, too, should get some sleep. He finally makes his bed, and gets under the blankets, his body shaking from being so nervous. He exhales a lot to try to relax. He is a bit stunned when he hears Arthur's voice, who's supposed to have fallen asleep twenty minutes ago.

"Merlin, can I ask you something?"

Merlin blinks, a bit surprised. "Sure. What's wrong?"

"Well... it's about what you said before... you said that Uther would blame you and you would be the one really punished."

"Yes." Merlin's mind was wandering in an eternal nothingness as it tried to remember the details.

"Well, I was wondering... why would you risk all of this just so I may regain my memories? They're only trivial, after all..." He hears Arthur whisper in the wind of night.

Merlin thinks about it for a moment. "I suppose it's because you're my friend. Any friend would do that for one and another. Besides, you said it yourself, without those memories, you can never be king. And you'll definitely be the greatest king. Better than your grandfather and your father. You'll make the kingdom a better place." Merlin assures him.

"How can you be so sure? I've been somewhat a prat to you." Arthur notices. Merlin laughs._ That's_ an understatement.

"Well, _obviously_. You're a big, fat, royal ass to me and every servant in fact." Merlin accuses him. Arthur groans.

"You can't address me like that, Merlin! I'm your prince and future king."

"I didn't mean to insult you... I'm sorry, but you did ask me my opinion. But in any case, I just... know you're going to become a great man Arthur."

"Ah yes, Merlin's too famous instinct that has saved us from too many situation," Arthur scoffs, laughing. "But how do you know I'll regain my memory... I have a vague notion of things. But I can't tell which is real or unreal anymore."

"Tell you what. Next time you're wondering about something, just ask me. I'll be truthful." Merlin promises. "Anything else?"

"Well I," Arthur mumbles, hesitating. "_Never mind_." Arthur says quickly, sounding a bit flustered. And just like that, the conversation is over and Arthur says nothing more, leaving only the oblivion of the night with Merlin.

As he lays awake, his body shaking from fear and his stomach pained and twisted in utter agony, Merlin tries to think of a way to clear his mind. However, the manservant cannot. He keeps wondering how Arthur will react to the magic in him.

In Merlin's mind, he imagines few possible scenarios...

_-Take one:_

_"Bloody hell, Merlin! You've had magic all along? I cannot imagine this nonsense!" Arthur stutters. "Maybe you've tried to turn me into a toad all along!"_

Merlin snickers under his breath at the very out-of-character Arthur. No, this is probably not a safe assimilation of how he will react. There's another one; one Merlin has more fantasized and created for himself. So he may find some kind of positivity out of it...

_-Take two:_

_"Magic? That's a wonderful piece of news, Merlin!" Arthur __cooed__... that's right cooed._

No, no, no. This doesn't seem right, no matter how entertaining the idea may sound. Then, there's the obvious one. The one Merlin would rather not think about but cannot tare himself apart.

_-Take three:_

_"YOU HAVE MAGIC! BEGONE WITH YOUR HEAD!"_

At this, Merlin shivers. Perhaps it's slightly exaggerated, but it's the most likely reaction. He sighs, overly stressed. He really, really needs to get some sleep. He should just concentrate one minute on relaxing himself and not thinking about this kind of stuff. It's too late to turn back anyways.

_I'll just try doing what I do and get some sleep,_ he thinks, before letting the night overtake his numbness.

**X**

The next day dawns on them so quickly that Merlin barely remembers the memory of sleeping. He's exhausted to tell the truth. He's barely got any sleep last night due to his stressing out his emotions, and trying to figure out how he will handle things. He tries to think clearly; really. But it's beyond his grasp.

He swears he wished he could drown himself down a well and be done with it. At least he would not need to go through all the process of finding the dragon and telling Arthur the truth.

_Sometimes, I really hate my life,_ Merlin thinks in agony. _My life and my destiny..._

"Merlin, hurry up! I haven't got all day!" Arthur's voice comes from behind as Merlin saddles up his brown horse. Merlin casts a somber glance at the prince, but the blond knight doesn't acknowledge it. "I said hurry up _Merlin_. Or I'll just leave without you."

"Alright, alright... I'm coming." Merlin groans as he mounts his horse nonchalantly. They begin to ride smoothly along the muddy path, Arthur silent and serious, while Merlin almost closes his eyes to get some rest. This broody mood Arthur's been in really piques Merlin in the deepest part of his tiredness. Sometimes, he just wishes Arthur would already know how hard a manservant's life - whose job is to protect his prat of a prince all while staying undercover - really is.

"Merlin!" Arthur's voice makes him snap out of his thoughts. "Remember the conversation we had yesterday?"

Merlin raises an eyebrow. He had not expected Arthur to mention it again; least so early on. He massages his temples as he nods.

"About the being truthful part?" Merlin asks.

"Yes, about that. May I ask you to be truthful now?" Arthur questions, his blond head never turning back on Merlin. Merlin frowns, wondering if Arthur had been waiting to ask a dozen of questions all along.

"Sure, you can ask me whatever you desire. And I'll answer. " He promises.

"Okay... so, I was born from Ygraine and Uther Pendragon. True or false?" Arthur asks.

Merlin cocks his eyebrows up, wondering what this is about. He knows Arthur has not forgotten about his family line, so why ask about it now? "True." He casually replies, wondering if Arthur is perhaps testing him.

Arthur's horse begins to trot lightly on the mud and dirt. "Alright. I have never lost a fight in the training camp. True or false?"

Merlin blinks. "False. Last year, you lost to Sir Leon who swung his shield over your left shoulder, which caused you to lose your balance and fall to the ground."

Arthur nods.

Suddenly, he realizes that Arthur has gradually stopped his horse, so he follows the actions of his prince and stops his mount. Arthur takes a big, deep breath before beginning with what seems to be the most important question of them all. "_Merlin, you have magic..._" Arthur hesitantly breathes out the words. "_True... or false_?"

And for the first time during this ride, Arthur's blue eyes look back at Merlin, scrutinizing his every expressions.

* * *

Again; kudos to everybody who reviewed last time! I like leaving cliff hangers, don't I? :P So, next chapter soon hopefully! :) Please review!

Inspirational music: So cold by Ben Cocks.

-KittyRin


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Merlin.**

Thank you so much to CharlieCats for having stuck with me and BETA'd this! ^^

Sorry for the very, very late last chapter. This is it, and I hope you like it. :)

* * *

_"Merlin, you have magic. True or false?"_

Merlin freezes. Somewhere, an owl lets out his cry.

Suddenly, it seems like everything around him is in a hurry to scurry, however, he is dead like stone. There are no words to describe this feeling. The shock, the fear and the anticipation of the next turn of events.

"Wha-what?" Merlin takes a deep breath, mumbling as he does, "Pardon me?" He corrects himself, trying to sound as polite as possible. Which is not exactly something he should be doing._**  
**_

Arthur laughs, almost sadly. "Now, now. I can tell you're hiding something from the way you're being so nice to me..."

Merlin chuckles nervously. "I'm not being polite you... cabbage...arm." He blurs out, and he curses himself for not thinking of anything appropriately good to insult Arthur.

The prince laughs nonchalantly. "Come on _Merlin_, my grandma could have done better then that!"

"Your grandma is- euuuur... I mean..." He stutters over each word, and he begins to groan in disdain.

"What is it Merlin? Why won't you answer my simple question? I thought you promised." Arthur pushes him with his words, and Merlin realizes he's on the edge of a wall, where he's got no place to escape. He needs to think of a solution, but he sees none.

"I- no, of course not-"

"Don't lie to me!" Arthur snaps coldly, his blue eyes piercing through the wall, making it collapse and breaking the warlock's protective side.

"Okay, okay! It's true!" He yells out, closing his eyes and looking away. He dare not say anything at all because he's so scared. Scared of losing it all. Merlin freezes again, and he literally stops to breathe for the next dozen of seconds. All he hears is the rustling of the leaves and the horses exalting air and waiting.

Even the owl has stopped making noise.

"Why? Why did you never tell me?" Arthur gets completely off his horse now, and lets his stallion free. The mount, noticing the lack of response on the reins trots a few meters away, and begins to eat to its heart content and feasts on the fresh, minty grass.

Merlin sighs and gets off his horse, who gladly follows his friend.

"Did you honestly think I would just tell you? What, with all the strict laws against the magic?" Merlin says. "You would have made me dead, or if not, you would have been defying your father-"

"Oh, like it makes it better now!" Arthur yells out, frustrated, as he glares at Merlin. He turns around, kicking a few rocks. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"I- It's not like it changes much..." Merlin tries to explain, but it seems that the prince is stubbornly refusing to hear anything from him.

"Just- _shut_ up! Alright? I don't understand it. Maybe you've been deceiving us and you're just an evil and shady character." He hisses, looking angrily at the sky.

"Come on, don't be silly... you know me better-" He begins.

"Do I? Do I really _Merlin_?" Arthur hisses, leaving a thoughtful Merlin perplexed by this. "Our friendship is based on a lie, and a friendship based on weeds does not bloom beautiful, but dies pitifully. Maybe it never really existed."

This has more of an impact than Arthur could have imagined. Merlin falls to his knees almost immediately, and closes his heart, trying to prevent more wounds coming in. He's always been a sensitive soul, and the idea of losing a friendship just like that is unbearable. But it's his own fault after all. Arthur's right. The connection could never bloom into something agreeable if its roots are based on something fowl.

"Is this what you think of me?" He asks, hurt echoing with every word.

Arthur turns around, his blue eyes suspicious and condescending. "I..." His tone changes to something a little more sorry. "I don't know what I think anymore."

Merlin nods nonchalantly. "I'm sorry I never told you."

He realizes by now that a few tears are rolling down his cheeks. He quickly erases them with the tip of his fingers.

"Get up now," Arthur says, grabbing Merlin by the left shoulder. "Be a man."

He does as he is told, as Arthur stands in front of him in a imposing manner.

"So? All those times when you saved me, you were using magic. Did you use magic to get into my father's good books and become my manservant? Was it a scheme of yours?"

Merlin takes in a nervous breath and stutters on his words. He realizes he's almost sobbing. Damn his fragile emotions.

"No. No, no, no. Of course not. I... came here because I never belonged in my village. It was not in my plans to become your manservant," He laughs now, which helps him focus on his speech. "I mean, it's not very grand, is it? Working for the arrogant prince? I _hated_ you in the beginning."

This seems to lighten up the tension, and Arthur almost smiles. "I know you did. _Loathed_ my guts more like. I thought of you as a fool."

"Yes, Merlin the idiot. The fool," Merlin says.

Arthur smiles for a breath moment, but he sighs to ask another question. "And what about all those times when I won out of sheer luck and- by God, am I even worth all the accomplishments I've earned? Or was it simply the use of your magic that provided these accommodations? Am I, in fact, just a failure as a knight?" Arthur seems angry again, because he now has to question everything he has ever worked for. However he seems more mad at himself than at Merlin.

"No, no!" Merlin quickly replies. "You are... a great prince. You've become this phenomenal person with a kind heart. And you'll be a great King. I know that... Camelot is a great place... it's the home I'd always dreamed to have. It was by accident that I... saved you. But somehow, I found a home here like no other place. Camelot opened its walls to me... and I felt wanted. And then, I learned that you were my destiny... through the dragon."

"The... dragon?" Arthur almost sneers, as if this were a whole dream. The whole process of Merlin being a warlock, and the interaction with the dragon shakes him and gave a whole unrealistic side to the situation.

"Um... his name is Kilgharrah." Merlin whispers, looking away. Another thing he needs to confess; his interactions with the dragon.

Arthur just shrugs. "Warlock, Dragonlord... I'm learning so many things today..." He falls to the ground, sitting down. It's very much like a child, whose feet are sore from a long day ride. Arthur just gazes at the grass, as he grabs a chunk and rips it out of the ground.

Merlin joins him and sighs. "I'm so sorry."

Arthur shakes his head, ignoring his apology. "I'm guessing you're also responsible for releasing the dragon... Kilgharrah was it?"

Merlin slowly nods.

"Do you realize all the lives you put in dangers? All the loss that families had to endure? Do you? I lost my memory because of you!" Arthur yells again, almost threatening Merlin by now.

"I'm so sorry... I know that I shouldn't have but... I had no other choice." Merlin nervously stutters. Arthur cools down for a moment, listening. "I made a promise to Kilgharrah... in exchange of the spell that would destroy the gargoyles that were attacking Camelot because of Cornelius Sigan at that time... and I would not be a man if I did not respect my oaths..."

"Then you should have come to me... damn it Merlin!" Arthur groans, frustrated as he massages his temples. "All this... mess you've created is getting worse and worse... and the more you wait, the worse it'll get." Arthur sighs.

There's a long moment of nothingness.

"I'm sorry." Arthur suddenly adds. Merlin blinks, looking up. "I know you had to go through a great deal to protect me and Camelot... and you've never gotten any recognition." Merlin gulps as Arthur seems to hesitate on his words. "I'm not saying I forgive you completely... there's too much information at once right now. But I know you've had your share of losses..."

Merlin frowns, wondering what Arthur is referring to.

The Prince sighs. "Balinor... he was your father right? I'm sorry."

Merlin says nothing at this point because he doesn't really now what feeling cuts out for this ? Pain? Sadness? He doesn't know what.

Arthur, noticing the lack of response, looks up at the sky and murmurs. "_Magic is bad_. All my life, that one sentence has been repeated and repeated over and over again. But... it's a lie. I know it is. All those druid children never deserved to die... And you don't either. Because I trust you, you and your magic abilities."

"Thanks." Merlin smiles for the first time, and relaxes just a bit. He suddenly feels this beating inside his brain, and he realizes that something has grown inside of him.

"Even if you are the biggest idiot I know." Arthur laughs silently, making Merlin snap out of the sound in his brain. The beating continues wildly inside Merlin's mind, and he suddenly acquires something new inside of him… a sudden strength that had been there all along, hiding. He gets up.

"Arthur, I want to make everything right. I want… things to go back the way they were. I know it's a lot to ask, but I'll continue to be me, and you can-"

"That would be lovely." Arthur cuts in, "But do you honestly think this can work? My father is already after the both of us by now, and it won't be long till he catches us. Then he'll have your head for letting me go wild like this, and especially that I haven't even gotten my full memory back."

"Exactly." Merlin nods, grinning. "That's the thing!"

"What?"

Merlin sighs. "Arthur... I didn't know it before... but I've realized. The spell required for you to remember your memories." He blurts it out, and Arthur looks up, almost dazzled by this new piece of information. He sits right up, and waits, almost smiling like a child.

"Really? How?" Arthur asks, bewildered.

"That's the thing—before, I was weak and unsure. But now that I've told you, I've realized how strong I really am. With my friends, I can be me for the first time in my life."

"I didn't say I forgave you." Arthur groans suspiciously. "Anyways, what are you waiting for?"

"Right… but you will." He winks. Arthur rolls his eyes and mumbles something under his breath. Merlin grins at this, and puts his hand over Arthur's blond head, whispering the incantation.

His eyes shine with their golden color and the magic streams through him to Arthur. Arthur's pupils widen for an instant and he almost faints for a moment. The Prince blinks furiously and shakes his head. He groans. "Ugh, I have such a head ache."

He massages his temples while Merlin gets up.

Arthur is frozen for the next five minutes, as if he were struck by something evident. Merlin waits patiently while he gets ready to surrender. He's still scared by the outcome of the future events.

At last, Arthur gets up, his knees weak. As he rises, Merlin sees in him this great king that Kilgharrah has foreseen.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asks, patting him on the shoulders.

"Do I look alright, _Merlin_? God, even with magic you are really an idiot." Arthur groans.

"Nice to see you're still the same. Shame, I was hoping this whole 'rediscovering my past' would have given you a… kind streak." Merlin teases him, looking dolefully at the road.

Arthur grimaces, and fakes a laugh. "Very funny. Now, shut up, and fetch the horses." He rubs his eyes, as if he were trying to get used to the light outside. Merlin blinks.

"The… horses?"

"Yes, have you become deaf as well as stupid?" Arthur yells out, his eyes glaring. "Just because you have some petty magic now does not mean you are relieved from your duties as my manservant!" Merlin nods quickly, running quietly after the horses. Arthur shakes his head in frustration, but smiles when he's sure Merlin isn't watching. He waits another ten minutes for Merlin to catch the horses, which are not very happy to be fetched back.

"Here—you- are…" Merlin pants, finally giving Arthur the reins of his stallion.

"Took you long enough." Arthur says sternly as he gets up on his horse. Merlin tries to regain his composure by taking deep breaths, which only annoys Arthur more. "Come on, Lady Merlin! I don't want to wait around all day for your girly body to recover."

Merlin scrutinizes the prince as he gets up on his horse. "Some knight you are. Wherever did the gallantry go?"

"Oh I'm sorry, what was that? Do you actually want to be treated like _a girl_?" Arthur says, exasperated. He gives a light kick to his horse, who breaks into a light trot. Merlin follows clumsily behind.

"Um, wait! Where are we… well, going?" The warlock asks.

"Oh um, _home_?" Arthur grits, giving him an obvious tone. Merlin smiles foolishly. These words are life changing for him.

"Really? So you've forgiven me?" Merlin asks. Wrong question.

"You know, I had nearly _forgotten_ that! See the irony in all this? Me remembering my memories nearly alleviated the most crucial fact.. and no, I have not forgiven you."

"But then—"

"Except to work five times… no, ten times as hard as before. Everything, and I mean everything has to be spotless. And don't think of using magic, because I won't hesitate to tell father if that's the case. One more thing, if you ever, and I mean ever, dare tell anyone about this, I will have your head on a spike. Clear enough?"

"Clear as crystal." Merlin groans, suddenly not so thrilled anymore about the idea of going back to Camelot.

And yet, both men secretly smile, joyful that the turns of event have come to this. Everything, in the end, will be all right.

And somewhere out there, a set of eyes watch carefully, content with this situation. Kilgharrah bows his head respectfully and flies away in the sky, thinking to himself "Good job, little man. You have done well."

* * *

So... here. At first, my initial thought was that Arthur would ask Kilgharrah to make him forget it all, which would have been a bit bitter and tragic, but I chose a more 'happy' ending if you may call it... hope you liked it. Thank you so much to EVERYBODY who has taken the time to review, put this in their alerts and favorites. You guys rule and thank you very much.

-KittyRin


End file.
